Deciding to expand your family post infertility

Once you’ve experienced an infertility diagnosis the decision to then go on and expand your family can be pretty harrowing.

What I didn’t mention last week when I posted on whether or not we would attempt to expand our family to include a third child is that on that particular day I was in a really dark place about it.

It was a place of true fear. I was afraid of having another child at a gap I couldn’t handle but then afraid to wait lest I never be able to have another at all. Nothing really seemed like the right solution. Do I choose to be sad now or do I never have another baby and live with the lingering sadness forever?

In this situation there is no choice without sadness.

Continue reading “Deciding to expand your family post infertility”

The third baby thing

Whether or not to attempt to spawn further offspring has been a topic on pretty high rotation here of late.

When Holly was first born I got the full dose of mummy hormones after she came out the front door (as opposed to the sun roof like her brother) relatively drug free and a pretty straightforward birth. Right away I was declaring that a third baby was definitely on the cards but I think that had more to do with the fact that I was basically high. It’s like taking ecstasy for the first time and deciding right then and there it is so fun that you want to do it 500 more times.

Exhilarating but not overly practical or realistic and more than a wee bit life altering. Continue reading “The third baby thing”


Whoop whoop! I made it…I’m here…I am blogging again.

This is me right about now. A total mum thinking she is a cool kid because she built this fucking amateurish blog that is a shell of what she wanted it to be but who cares because…it’s here!

mum dancing.gif

So yeah, much work to do here but it’s evolving and taking shape and I HAVE A SPACE TO BLOG NOW. Now I just have to get the toddler to let me do it because as you all know, the toddler tornadoes rule the goddamn world.   Continue reading “3..2..1..LIFT OOOOOOOOOOFFFFFF!”


infertility IVF embryo

Hello and welcome to the infertility section of my site.

Infertility is fucked. Am I right? Sadly, I know I am.

I dealt with secondary infertility for over 2 years and it just plain old sucks.

For me, the infertility experience included 2 x chemical pregnancies, 3 x IUIs, 3 x full IVF cycles resulting in 45 eggs collected and no viable embryos, genetic testing and an endometriosis diagnosis.

I spent a lot of time reading and researching and talking right here online with other women walking through these same same but different moments. The women I met here online, the whole infertility community I became involved with, carried me through this experience. I am not kidding. I think I may have really lost it without their support. So it is really important to me to give back to this community so that maybe my lessons will be helpful to those still in the trenches.

This is me giving back.

Essentially what you are going to get here is my opinion about what happened to me. I am not a Dr, a scientist or a trained expert in this at all so you can’t take what I’ve said and do it “under my recommendations”. I wish I could give you the magic secrets to cure your woes but unfortunately I’m not the magic secret holder. Maybe something I experienced though resonates with you and sends you on a journey that brings you success and if that’s the case then WAHOOOOO.

I will do some research from time to time on certain topics and when I do that I’ll be sure to include my references to help you out when you go off and investigate. I’m not conclusively recommending anything with any sort of training at all though so please, let us be cool with that.

I’ve made this category totally separate on my site because you may just want to come here and sign up only to read my infertility stuff. It is really hard to see content on parenting and babies when you are in that zone so by keeping this content in its own separate area I am trying to respect that. I’ve even made it possible for you to sign up to ONLY infertility posts on my blog. You can do that here.

May the craziness of this journey not entirely consume you and may your dreams be fulfilled.

The girl* with the stories.

Rachael xx

*do you think I can call myself girl at 40????