Alone Time 

Getting any sort of alone time post kids is pretty much a rarity. Getting extra sleep time, well that’s just a pipe dream. Even if you do trade offs with your partner for sleep-in days the reality of that is rarely as good as it sounds. My kids come looking for me anyway and I can hear all the noise and carry on from the room so I can never actually sleep if they are up and in the house. All I’m really getting is a lie-in to check Facebook and that’s not really that awesome. 

So this is why I am sitting here right now in a cafe at 745am writing a post. What I really want to be doing is sleeping a bit more – I’ve been up since 4am and it’s not even the baby’s fault, I’m under the weather and my eyes hurt. I was going to go for a run so had M down for daddy duty but when I went in to put my running gear on I almost cried thinking about the energy it would require to actually run today. At that point I thought, ok maybe a run isn’t the best choice. 

But M was booked so I thought I’d make use of the time anyway and go for breakfast but as I backed out of the driveway all I could think was how much I’d rather be back in bed as opposed to out for breakfast. What I need more than anything is for someone to take my kids for a little overnight visit somewhere so I can park my arse on the couch and nap nap nap then binge Netflix but what mum ever gets a chance to do that? Alone time is out time and that is just the way this particular cookie crumbles. I think this works ok for super outdoorsy extrovert types who regenerate through being out and around other people but I am a home body and I regenerate with my life around me and my couch under my butt.

Back when I was a single parent with only S to look after I used to get these recharge days every weekend. He’d go for 25 hours with his dad each weekend and most weekends I literally did not move from the couch. I know, I know, you social types are positively horrified by the thought but seriously, it really worked for me. We had an active social life together when he was at home anyway so I’d usually maxed out on face-to-face time (yes beautiful extroverts, this is actually possible!). 

Anyway <spoiler alert> I’m now a single parent again but this time with two kids. Explains why I haven’t posted for awhile but is really  a post for another day so I won’t go too in depth here but let me just say, once we firm up access I am really looking forward to my recharge days. When you are in a good co-parenting arrangement, as I have been fortunate to be in, the whole single parenting thing actually isn’t too bad. It’s like most of the sucky things in life – if you have support, you can pretty much deal with anything with strength. If you don’t have this strength right now, lean on me. I have a contact me page where you can send a private email and I am always in the comments here. Please don’t be alone. 

Anyway, so here I am, alone with my thoughts and now a coffee at what is now 8:03am. I’m alone and loving it but tired, so tired. To all those getting proper lie-ins and sleep: you suck…just a little bit. Mwah. 

30 thoughts on “Alone Time ”

  1. I can’t imagine raising kids by myself. I was an exhausted full-time mom. I looked forward to Saturday mornings when I grabbed the classifieds and went garage saling! Got a break and an endorphin rush.
    Now my kids are 25 and 27!! It may seem like time crawls, but once they’re in school, time flies!

    Thanks for stopping by the party! Have fun and don’t forget to dance!

    1. Thanks so much for stopping by to read a post on my blog and for facilitating the party! Yes raising kids is tiring no matter who you are or your circumstances I think. It is just a tiring time of life that I can see moves by in a whirlwind before too long. Happy partying!

  2. I’m sorry to hear that you’re single parenting again. I do hope that you get a schedule figured out soon so you can have some alone time at home, where you can truly be alone. I need that alone time as well, I just don’t really get it. My alone time is like the half hour at bedtime when I’m trying to fall asleep lol!! I do get some alone time when C naps, but that’s spent cleaning or catching up on emails or blogs or Facebook, so that’s not really the same. Here’s to hoping we both get some lazy time soon!!!

    1. Thx lovely. You know I am actually quite relieved that we have made that step forward. We just couldn’t make each other happy so it was time to let go. Single parenting seems a small price to pay for happiness.

      And yes, rest and alone time is the curse of every parent I think. I feel a bit dumb whining about it but you know, even though it’s common, it still sucks! I hope you get some rest again soon x

      1. I’m sure it is relieving. My sister is going through a separation/divorce disaster. Her hubby could care less about the kids though, and leaves them hanging more often than he sees them, and is often angry or ignores them when he does have them. He also isn’t moving forward with paperwork and in general just being a freaking ass. I’m glad you aren’t dealing with all that mess. I hope this does help you find a new happiness with life, with someone who truly appreciates you and loves you and treats you the way that you deserve to be treated. Sending you lots of love *hugs*

        1. Awwwww thx honey. Mwah.

          I am so sorry to hear about your sister’s situation, especially for those kiddies being treated so badly by him, but I’m glad to hear she finally stopped putting up with his shit. I remember you mentioning him before.

          1. Yeah, it’s actually a pretty bad situation. I could go on forever about it but I don’t want to depress you, and it’s not my story to tell. It’s going to be very messy before it’s over…I just feel so bad for her and the kids 🙁

  3. Aww…! Hang in there… I am also a single parent with my kid is on his way to being a teenager so it’s a lot easier now. But I can totally relate… I loved this…

    1. Awwww thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. And yeah it is just the young years that are so intense. I have a 6 year old and a 15 mth old. The 6 year old is actually pretty cruisy but the baby, man she hassles me ALL DAY LONG. Lol Thank you for stopping by and reading!!

  4. This is kinda the only gift I want now. Like ever. For Mother’s Day, my birthday, holidays, it doesn’t matter. Someone let me sleep in and truly recharge.
    I hope you feel better.

    1. Do you know my cousin’s hubby got her a night at a hotel all alone for Mother’s Day this year! My bro then did it for his wife and then my ex did it for me too. It is the world’s best gift. You aren’t surrounded by your own things but you are somewhere you can rest. I love it!! Ordered room service, watched crappy TV, had the buffet breakfast ALONE. Amazing.

      1. Awwwww sounds like heaven. I’m skipping hinting and going straight to telling my husband he should do this. I think it would make me a better person.

  5. A friend of mine is single mother at the age of 25. I know it can be difficult and I ask her how she does it. She says that she just does! So I marvel at you. I can barely take care of myself adequately! This was a lovely ready

    1. You know we all adjust our expectations based on our reality. So when ts just me and the kids I expect to be tired and achieve less with my time so it is always a great surprise when I do better. Ha! Glad you enjoyed the read and thanks for stopping by 🙂

        1. Awwwe thx! I’m going to stick around your space too. This is a pretty new blog but the about page of my last blog has a pretty good summary of us up until trying for our second baby. That process saw us reunite I the end although it wasn’t our intention and now we are here. It is a rather unconventional little story lol that blog is https://thesecretlifeofemilymaine.wordpress.com/about/

          I loll forward to getting across your back story too! Yay for new friends 🙂

            1. I I’m not active over there at all. I ended up going through secondary infertility to get my second baby so it became a blog about that in the end. People still visit it as an information resource so I’ve left it there for that and moved here for active blogging. 🙂

  6. Standing ovation for you for taking some time for you. I did the single mom thing for a long time, and can say for sure that you need that break – and that blessed time alone. May you soon have a whole, delicious day to recharge! (Found your post at Susie’s blog party!)

  7. I’m so sorry things haven’t worked out between you guys, that sounds tough…although what I ‘hear’ from your posts is that you will be both better off on your own and work better together that way? You are amazingly strong to go through all this…hoping you get some true alone time soon! I kind of get mine on work travels, even though I don’t get to lie in because it’s still work, I do get that time for waking up on my own and spreading out in bed doing what I fancy! You remind me to appreciate those moments more ?

    1. We def work together better as co-parents so I am really looking forward to transitioning to that full time in a set schedule (I love a schedule!). Oh yes you must get such delicious alone time when in work travels but it would be so bittersweet though as you’d ache for A as well I’m sure. Nothing is perfect with this sort of stuff. It’s all trade-off.

  8. Mr. T’s father wasn’t involved at all, so I didn’t get every other weekend off and I think I’m making up for it now – some weekends, I don’t get out of bed until 8 am!!! But I’ll send you some good energy to get you through these days until you’re back on co-parenting schedule… and can’t wait to hear that part of the story!

    1. Yeah single parents like you were with no other parent involvement do it SO tough. You are amazing. You should sleep in every day you can now those days of kids at home are over. You did such an amazing job of it too x

  9. Oh gosh! Things are all changing! I hope you are okay. You know, a good arrangement between you both might actually be a great thing if it gives you that time to recharge. I know how desperately I need my alone time to function normally around others. Like you, socialising can drain me of everything, and even being with my own family I need a break now and then to just be me.

    I feel for you so much on the sleep. Tiredness just surrounds everything relentlessly and makes life so much harder. You’re doing amazingly and your smiling little ones are a testament to how brilliantly you are managing motherhood, even if it feels like it’s sucking the life out of you (or is that just me, haha). Big hug to you and your gorgeous babies xxx

    1. Awwww thanks gorgeous. I haven’t seen you about for awhile (although a bit late on my reading and also barely blogging at the moment). I hope all is well with you and yours.

      And motherhood always feels like it is sucking the life out of me!! Lol so you are not alone in that one.

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